Most women I know have a self-image crises that revolves around two things: Being thin, and make-up. Now, of course, like most not-completely-psycho males on this planet, I am fine with, and greatful for the first. However, I have serious issues with the second. Dear Women, make-up sucks. At no time during the history of the cosmetic industry has a woman put on make-up and looked better because of it. If you show me any picture of any hot girl “done up” I will show you a picture of a hotter girl in pajamas and a pony tail. Nothing makes me more pissed off then when I am going out with the (yes for better or worse, at this point in my life it’s “the” and not “a”) female and I am waiting for her to finish putting on her make-up. Thanks babe, not only do I have to sit here and field phone calls answering the same damn question as to why we haven’t left yet, but I can actually watch you getting less pretty (I would never be married to an ugly chick) AND I’m going to have to clean lipstick off of my dick later to boot.
So I’m sitting there, fielding one of these weekly phone calls from a friend, passing the time by trying to figure out some way to avoid spending $1000 on dinner and drinks. My friend says, “Maybe we could just watch our wives make-out?” What a fucking GREAT idea! Watching my wife do another attractive chick. What could be better? Doesn’t cost a dime….in fact, I could probably find a way to MAKE money out of the deal. Hmmm…how to accomplish? So far my not-so-subtle “Hey, why don’t you two (or three or four) just make out” remarks haven’t been so successful. Eventually I gave up on the idea, resorted to storing the thought away in my jerk-a-dex and went back upstairs to check on Ms. Circus Clown.
This does, however, beg the question: Why is it that women will cover their faces in nasty grease and powder in order to please a guy, but most of them won’t make out with other women? BULLSHIT! We need to change socially expected behavior to disclude make-up and include a little bit of harmless girl on girl action.
Seriously, how great would that be? We could solve so many of America’s marraige crises problems. Think about it, instead of….
“Honey, we’re late! Can you please hurry up?”
“Leave me alone! Your yelling isn’t going to make me go any faster!”
We woud have……
“Honey, are you almost done? We are running late!”
“I’m on my way down! Just have to grab my strap on in-case you guys decide to play video games while were over there!”
Think of all the female in-fighting it would solve! Instead of…..
“She looks like such a slut in that dress!”
We would have…
“…..” See! Complete silence. There would be no competitive female bitching, bickering and other nonsense because they would be too busy making out with each other.
Once again I’ve solved the world’s problems. The4ngryG4mer for president?
September 14, 2007 at 8:29 pm |
Ok, you must be crazy! Mak-up is probably the best thing that has happened to women since Eve at the damn apple off of the tree and ruined it for all of us. You show me the picture of your girl in her pajamas and a pony tail and I will show you any picture of Jessica Biel. On that note I don’t think I would even watch movies without their use of make-up. Plus where do clowns fit in your non-make-up world?
September 16, 2007 at 2:54 am |
OMG!…. I am a woman…. and I HATE make-up!. I just can’t wear it coz I feel like I’m hiding behind some stupid mask or sth… I wasn’t born with make-up on my face… so the real me is just that…natural..
The wrost thing is… everyone is so obsessed with it that I feel like a freak just because I don’t wear make-up.
If I have to go out, if I have a meeting… I feel like I don’t fit in. And I don’t know anyone else who thinks like me. All my friends wear make-up.
Fortunately, my boyfriend doesn’t care.. he says I’m beautiful and I don’t need to cover my face. That’s sweet. But I still feel left out by society.
October 6, 2008 at 3:49 am |
I wonder why people complain about this so much. You’d think that if you hated makeup so much, you would remove it from your life by NOT SELECTING women who wear it. Yet somehow the ladies who go natural never seem to get as much attention from guys as the women with raccoon eyes.
Verbally, guys always tell women that they hate makeup. Behaviorally, guys tell women that they love makeup. Which message will women listen to?
February 11, 2009 at 12:55 am |
Alex, it’s the same with women though. They say they want the nice guys when in reality they don’t.
April 15, 2009 at 11:58 am |
The style of writing is very familiar to me. Have you written guest posts for other bloggers?
April 15, 2009 at 1:51 pm |
No I haven’t…I pretty much got my inspiration/style/attitude/whatever from http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net Maddox is halarious….